The first time I found true and pure love, I was 17. Still in high school and trying to figure out what kind of person I am, In more ways than one. At that age no one really knows who they are or what they want to be, I was no different. A few years prior I had come to terms with the fact that I had a keen interest in women. Being a girl myself I felt rather unnatural about the whole situation for quite some time, and for the longest time I denied it by trying to date guys.
After a while I thought that I might be bisexual, because even though I was seeing a guy I couldn’t help but think about girls and want and secretly wish to be with someone else. After about a year or so of frustrating petty boy-girl drama I decided that I wanted to graduate to just girl-girl drama. I was completely done with guys. There was no event to help me conclude this, I just came to the realization that being with a guy just wasn’t my style.
So I became a full fledge skirt chaser. I asked out a couple of girls that I thought were cute, I got turned down both times. One girl was rather nice about the whole situation but the second girl decided to be a real bitch and blow the whole thing out of proportion and I was de-closeted thanks to her. I got called all sorts of names, from fag to stalker. I’ll have you know that I did no such thing.
Too scared to ask out another girl at my school I decided to wait until after high school. I bid my time and waited for high school to end. The end seemed too far away though. I sorely wished companionship with another girl. One day I was online posting some stories and looking at poems written by other people when I decided to try and talk to a fellow writer.
I was surprised when she answered my message normally I didn’t get any responses when complimented a writer, but this time I did. We talked for a while and ended up switching to a messenger and started talking more. I enjoyed talking to her, and every day after school I rushed to my computer eager to talk with my new friend.
She was enchanting to me, and we spend long nights talking to each other. We write countless emails. Soon we exchanged phone numbers and talked more often. Well more like texted, for the longest time we didn’t really talk on the phone, but when we did I loved hearing her voice. It was dark and almost raspy sounding but it enveloped me and soothed me when I had bad days. We would talk about meeting one day, and after a while we started to “date” as best as a long distance dating could go.
It lasted for a while, almost eight month. I longed to meet her and wanted nothing more than to be held by her. Only one thing set me off about all of it. Every once in a while when she would have a bad day at work or school she would talk about her Ex, and how much she missed her. It unsettled me greatly, and eventually another friend convinced me that she was cheating on me, so I broke up with her and started dating my friend that convinced me to leave her.
Over the next three years I couldn’t help but return my thoughts to this girl, I missed her and always wondered how she was doing or if she was ok, or even alive for that matter. I was forbidden from talking about her or even looking her up by my girlfriend, whom was the same girl that convinced me to leave her.
After a three year relationship with this girl the thread of bullshit began to unwind and we broke up, ending it very badly. I wanted very badly to contact my old Ex again, it took me a month to realize that my more recent Ex had no control over me anymore, so I contacted her. I told her that I was sorry for the way that I ended things and how I just disappeared off the face of the earth like I did on her. I wasn’t expecting a reply or if I got any I was expecting an angry reply. Instead I received, “How the fuck are you…” I almost died laughing it was so like her to respond the way that she did.
We began talking again and after a while we both confessed that out feelings for one another never really dissipated. No long after that we decided to start dating again and now I am living with her and we are deciding to get married. ^-^ I am marring my first true love, and technically my high school sweetheart as well.
The first time I found true and pure love, I killed it. I was lucky enough that she let me rekindle it with her after so long. I love her deeply and I can’t wait to build out newly kindled fire of passion and love even higher.
So trust me when I say, It gets better.
This prompt I was suppose to write about “a first” whether it be a first love first kiss first car etc…
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